All playdates are off

This past weekend Zoe had a playdate with a fairly new acquaintance of mine who also has a beautiful baby girl 2 years old. Up until now Zoe has only played with other babies who are family and I learned over the past weekend it’s for daaaaaaaaaaamned good reason. I was a little overprotective of her before because she was so little and immobile. But now that she’s crawling all over the damn place and standing up trying to transition to walking I thought a playdate would be a good idea. EHHHHHHHHHHH Wrong answer!

Everything was going well, the mommies were getting along and having fun, Zoe was having a good time crawling and getting into everything and sharing toys with her new friend. Until they both focused in on the same toy to which the 2 year old tried to kick my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh hell no. My poor baby had no idea of what was intended to be done with that foot, but see her mama was watching and her spidey senses were ON! And as naturally as breathing comes to me was my instinct to grab that foot and hang her upside down by it. Out a window!

I know that babies don’t really get the concept of sharing toys but rationality went out the door momentarily when I saw that foot lunging at my baby. See in my family if your child acts up they will get a pop or a pow pow from any and everybody within arms’ reach. But who knows if that will go over well with my new friend here. I don’t know her life. I don’t know if maybe she’ll want to fight me if I try to scald her kid for trying to kick mine. And if she did want to fight me, did she eat lunch because this was gonna be a loooooong day for her. Luckily for us all I’ve been improving upon my erratic behavior and was able to stop myself and act appropriately for the situation. Instead of following my instinct of snatching the 2 year old up, I simply caught the foot in mid action and told her not to kick my baby unless she wanted to get kicked by me (hey I’m a work in progress). Her mommy then took over the scolding. Crisis averted. Budding friendship saved!

It was in that very moment that I realized maybe I’m not ready for playdates with non family members just yet. I’m not sure of just how many near kickings I would be able to stand before I’m all about that “act up, you get slapped up” life. So until that time when Zoe is able to lay the smackdown on wayward behaving babies…All playdates are off!

I’m sure I’m not the only mommy, daddy, auntie, godmother who’s had this experience. How did you handle your situation?

No worries…I got this!

Your Style Montage

You know how they say live in color.  Well I live in montages.  I’m a little more than borderline obsessed with them.  I love to make them up in my head (I have automatic montages of anything you can think of cataloged and filed away in this brain o’ mine),  I love to see them on blogs and television and during the closing credits of movies.  I just love em. 

Now that my love of montages is out the way, I just saw a bad montage of Alicia Keys’ performance outfits.  I understand that we all weren’t born with a stylist approved wardrobe but when you’re a mega star there’s no excuse for this ↓

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So after seeing this montage I got to thinking….What would my style montage look like?  I’ve gone through all the phases: all black everything, girlie girl, round the way girl, flower girl, tomboy and let’s not forget I really don’t give a damn phase.  But I’m hoping that my style montage would do me justice.

What would your style montage look like?  Do you have more hits or misses?  Let me know…..

              No worries…I got this

Excuses. Excuses.

Earlier this week my sissy sent me a picture we took about 6 years ago when we were super young, super cute and super smaller. And now I’ve become obsessed with it. I find myself staring at it, reminiscing over the days body of yore and wondering….

What’s the statute of limitations on “I just had a baby”?

No seriously??!!

Anybody???

Because if it’s 6 months, I need to come up with another line like….”I’m a working mother” (insert eye & neck roll if necessary).

Buuuuuuuuuuut if it’s more like a year I totally have another 3 months to milk this while plotting total MILF domination.

Not that I’ve been resting on my new motherhood laurels because believe you me I’ve been putting in work. You know like going to the track and running laps around all the 60+ year old speed walkers. Making a weekly appearance at the gym. Building my workout playlist on my iPhone and iPod. Purchasing new super cute workout gear as “motivation”. And things of that nature.

Now on to the hard part… CONSISTENCY!!!!! That word is scary. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit so let’s just see about that.

I am woman/mommy hear me roar. RAWWWWWWWWWWWR! I’ve been through way worse like cankles, swollen feet, sciatica, butt cramps, boob sweat, poop on my face, throw up in my hair. I digress.

So cheers to no excuses and forming habits! (somebody bring me a drink).

No worries…I got this!

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Sweet Kisses…

I thought nothing would make me happier than seeing just how excited my baby girl became as I walked through the door from a long day’s work. Until the first time I heard her say ma ma ma ma as she reached for me to pick her up. I mean seriously it doesn’t get any better, I thought.

And then she puckered up her teeny tiny lips and gave me the sweetest, most adorable, SLOPPIEST kiss ever. So sloppy that when her lips parted ways with my face the string of drool that still remained was a sign of our unbreakable bond. YUCK!

 

No Worries, I got this!

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MAMA GOT AN UPGRADE…

As if it weren’t crazy enough taking care of a now crawling baby, going to work, reading a book, keeping in touch with all my friends, loving, working out, combing my hair and putting on matching socks…Now Mama done went and got an upgrade!

A domain name…Wipingbuttsandtakingnames.com.  Yup you can’t tell me nothing.

Because it is mine I feel obligated to keep the ball rolling which means no more hiatus’ at least none I can see in the near future.  I’m so excited!!!

Stay tuned…….

 

No Worries…I got this