Like most of you all, I ditched my Sunday shows to watch the Grammys. Well the first 2 hours and then I quit.
Besides Fun winning best new artist and JT’s dope performance the red carpet was IT for me.
What made this year fun was that CBS sent out a dress code email to everyone who was slated to appear on camera. The restrictions reminded me of my catholic school dress code, here are the fun restrictions:
* buttocks and female breasts should be covered (that means that Rick Ross could have showed up flashing his 52 triple e’s and would have been free to roam the cabin)
* no thong type costumes
* no sheer & see thru clothing
* no bare sides
* bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks or under curvature of the breast should be covered
* (oh this is the best one) genital regions should be adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure (lol)
And just like in high school some nerds abided by the rules while others found creative loopholes, it was super fun to see who said screw the dress code. Here are a few looks that I loved and hated:
Katy Perry: Hubba Hubba! She had on a skin tight mint green dress by Gucci (you better werk!)
(this dress is sorta like when your older brother used to put his finger in your face, close enough to annoy the hell outta you but not touching you so if you hit him your mother would yell at you and not him)
Kelly Rowland: AMAZE-BALLS! 2 weeks in a row Miss Rowland has shut shit down. That Georges Chakra Couture dress is awesome and her body, ta die for. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaassss!!! (waving my Tyra Banks finger)
Adele: I love Adele and I love that she reps for the full figured woman. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut what the fuck Adele, you’re making us not size 2 girls look bad as a unit.
Alicia Keys: She must have read my previous post (yeah right) because a vast improvement was made and I must give kudos where kudos are due. Until we get to the hair, her red carpet dress by Azzedine Alaia as well as her performance dress was like va va va voom and then her hair was like she’s principal of an elementary school but that’s another story. As for the dresses I am for the first time impressed by Miss Keys.
Taylor Swift: I liked everything about her red carpet look, she looked so sweet and elegant and so not man eaterish in her J. Mendel dress but her performance outfit made me do a double take because I thought she was walking on some sort of stilts. Those shorts and boots made her legs look 8 feet long which is normally not a bad thing but in her case bad very very bad.
Wiz Khalifa & Miguel: Yeah I’d like to give a special thank you to these 2 jerks for wearing these blazers and then deciding to stand next to each other and totally fuck my eyes up for about 10-15 minutes after.
And last but well probably least my most hated look was that assclown The Dream. Apparently he didn’t get the memo that you show UP to the grammys not show DOWN. I wouldn’t even wear this around the house nevertheless outside neverthenevertheless to an award show.
And just in case he had any other wise ideas of showing up somewhere looking like who shot john, a huge thank you goes out to Jayz for clowning him:
What were some of your fave and not so fave looks of the night??