My mom reassured me that the time would come, I must admit that I wasn’t too convinced but I maintained faith. I wondered if the time would come when I didn’t feel guilty for wanting to have an adult evening out, or a day to myself, or for leaving baby girl with her dad or grandparents so that I could have a day of beauty or even if I would ever not go in a store for some retail therapy and totally bypass my section and make a bee line to the kid’s section. As I continue to watch her in amazement of how energetic, funny and intelligent of a kid baby girl is turning into I think I finally just gave myself the okay to start taking care of myself again. For some of you I may sound completely absurd like what the hell are you talking about, but I know that some of you feel me.
I can’t believe I’m about to say this but I was browsing yahoo.com trending topics, you know my favorite pastime when I should be working and I got suckered into looking at a newer photo of baby North West and read a quote from Kim Kardashian (hanging my head in shame) that made great sense (if I hang my head any lower I’ll be standing on my head). Her advice for moms is to take time for yourself, it will make you happy and make you a happier mom. See you’re agreeing with her aren’t you, no judgement here. When mama’s not happy, no one’s happy! I was already feeling a little sluggish and not pretty and in dire need of a mommy makeover and like some sort of sign reading that quote was like the reassurance I needed to be a tad bit selfish.
I’m giving myself permission to take 2 hours somewhere in my day to go to the gym, to take a couple hours a week or so to get my hair and nails done, get this gotdamn unibrow taken care of because I’m totally obsessed with eyebrows and only Lord knows my annoyance with my own, to go shopping and update my closet, to go on a couple of hot dates with her dad and to continue to love her with all I got.
And although this may seem like it’s a new year’s resolution it really isn’t it’s just learning and growing and the reemergence of me. I’m so excited!