Unapologetic and Unbothered

As I sit here 5 days shy of my 35th birthday I can’t help but think of all the changes that are occurring in my life. My mental and physical health have changed and my attitude towards life, myself and others has changed drastically. I’m not ashamed in saying that I feel like I’m on the path to becoming one of those old ladies that speaks their mind at all costs, which I’m kind of excited about. This is how I know I’m becoming unapologetic and unbothered.

I’m a mother! I unapologetically protect and provide for this kid and I’m so unsorry for anything I have to do to make sure that she becomes a smart, polite, confident and respectful person. I vividly remember thinking that motherhood wasn’t in the stars for me. But like I’ve always heard, God has a plan for all of us and he may not come when you want but he’s always on time. As cliché as it may sound I see that baby-o-mine as my little angel and a huge blessing and I will forever be thankful. Even when she’s a teenager and I want to kick her ass and/or lock her in her closet until she’s through with puberty and adjusts her attitude.

I’m also in a semi sane and healthy relationship. I say semi because it’s no secret my elevator doesn’t go to the top floor and Mr. Grumps still loves and accepts me. We have our shares of fights like any other couple and I still haven’t stopped him from breathing. Could this be love?!

I recently learned that I’m allergic to latex and chemicals used in cleaning products and baby wipes, I’m allergic to cleaning. Literally! So if you visit my house and it looks like a tornado struck sorry I’m not sorry. I’m allergic to cleaning! Literally.

I’m unapologetically unbothered by the fact that whether from “old age” or post pregnancy I can’t seem to have a proper laugh without the appearance of some form of bodily fluid. Gross right? Eh, you learn to deal. If I’m not spitting out water, coffee, tea, liquor, wine, liquor, wine, wine or liquor. I’m blowing snot or the reverse of blowing snot…snorting. Crying and totes messing up my mascara. Oh and my favorite “peeing a little bit” (THEY promised that’d stop after I gave birth, clearly THEY lied). I’ve accepted it all though, shit I’m too old not to. I actually think it’s a compliment, you know like a form of flattery. So if I’m ever in your company and I laugh so hard I snort, cry, pee or spit, just know that I think you’re pretty f*cking funny and you should keep that shit up. You’re welcome!

Advancing in age has taught me the importance of being as happy as I can be and therefore I am unapologetic in my need to urgently put a stop to things that make me unhappy. I’ve been walking around nipping shit in the bud like it’s my job. If it doesn’t make me happy and I can fix it I sure as hell try my best. And if I can’t change it I am so okay with walking away from it. Life is way too short and I want to spend the rest of mine as happy as humanly possible.

Quality over quantity over here kid. There’s been a fluctuation in my friends vs. people I’m cool with ratio. I’ll gladly take my handful of friends who would bail me out of jail, assist in the moving of a body or ride shotgun with me dressed as ninjas on our way to kick a b*tch’s ass without a second thought and without judgement.

I think less and do more. I’ve always been stuck in my own head and although this habit is harder to break than taking that fifth of whiskey away from an alcoholic, I’m learning to just do it! I’m still battling with turning things around in my head a little longer than I need to from time to time but I’m proud to say my ability to do things ass backwards (act first, think later) has been pretty beneficial. Shit my assed backwardness has found me 10 lbs lighter. Please don’t hold your applause!

In retrospect, 34 has been a year filled with self acceptance and knowledge of myself and I can’t wait to continue learning, loving and laughing through year 35.

Cheers to my birthday countdown!

No worries…I got this!