Jam of the Week (All About the Bass)

I think this is the cutest song ever (well right now). My favorite line “I’m bringing booty baaaaack, go head and tell them skinny bitches thaaaat” hahaha! Love the message in the song, shout out to the girls with a lil meat on their bones. Also, gotta love that the video is directed by our favorite choreographer Fatima Robinson!

Song: All About that Bass
Artist: Meghan Trainor
Album: Title

This Week in Mommyhood: Potty training! We got ourselves a shituation.

Potty training! (oy-vey)

I must admit that I was a lil judgy about the haughty taughty mommies who pay people to potty train their kiddies.  But after being up to my elbows in piss and crap I had to check myself right quick. If it weren’t for cheating myself out of a sense of accomplishment I’d totes be on the potty trainer train. This whole potty training bit, I’m quite over it!

We are definitely making progress and however long the process is taking I will not complain but I do have some issues with the different stages involved in the progression.

Stage One: Getting familiar with the potty
This stage was harmless or so I thought.  Just letting her see me “go potty” or having her go potty whenever I go potty wasn’t a problem at all.  Until that turned into an open invitation to bust in on me when mommy needs *ahem ahem* mommy time in the bathroom if you know what I mean.  Doors were never locked when I was growing up so it’s not something I normally do, but when I have to seriously go “potty” or when I’m shaving my legs in the shower and look up and have these 2 adorable eyes staring at me it’s just a bit much and so “click click” locked doors it is.

Stage Two: Supervised visitations
After getting familiar with the potty she had to get used to actually pottying, so every 25 minutes or so “time to go potty”.  Not so bad right?  Except when you end up having to sit in the bathroom for 10-15 minutes each time waiting for the “potty” to occur.

Stage Three: Notification
Once she got used to making potty we were in business.  As soon as she sat down she would go, all good.  Then we started to work on her telling us she had to go instead of us telling her to go.  Not so good!  We’d get all excited to hear “mommy/daddy go potty” until we realized she had actually gone potty already. ” Babygirl you have to tell us before you go potty okay” said one or both of us.  “Okay” she’s reply.  To no avail, close but no cigar.

Stage Four: Pull-Ups
She is currently wearing pull ups (aka her panties) throughout the day which she absolutely loves (thank the Lord for Dora, Thomas and Doc McStuffins pull ups).  Bad news they don’t hold half as much pottiness as pampers sooooooo there have been a lot of mommy and daddy’s wet pants legs and pissy couches and car seats. Not to mention these pull-ups are the devil because although they pull-up like they should lord knows they don’t pull down as easily…see stage 5 for more.

Stage Five: Potty Drills
For those of you who don’t know.  Potty drills are when they tell you 2.5 seconds before they actually go that they have to go and you drop everything and make a mad dash to the bathroom  so that they can make potty in the potty and then we can have a potty celebration.  8 out of 10 potty drills end in us having to clean up a little puddle of piss directly in front of the potty because those damn pull ups aren’t as easy to pull down as they should be.  I guess that’s why they purposely call them pull ups.

Stage  Six: Shituation Not Normal
We’re still trying to master step 5 but I think we’re almost done.  A week or so ago she’s entered the stage in which she doesn’t want her dirty pull ups touching her booty.  Which means after she goes potty (including the not so pleasant potty) in her big girl panties she immediately attempts to take them off.  A couple of times I’m sitting and minding my business and here comes a naked bootied baby.   This week I had the pleasure of catching her stripping post poopy in the pull ups.  What a shituation that was!!! Ugh.  I’m done here.

Thankfully I’ve heard that once they get to the stage that they don’t want to wear the dirty diapers/pull ups the next step is full on pottying.  And for the sake of my well being and germophobia I hope they’re right!

Have you gone through shituation potty?  Were you as skeeved out as I am?  Care to share any helpful hints/survival tips?

 

No Worries…I’ve Got This!  Pissy and Crappy and all.

 

 

 

Jupiter Blue & Vase of Hearts

I’ve crossed over to the gel side ya’ll.

I tried gel polish for the first time 2 weeks ago and I’m sold!  For the first 3 days I just stared at my nails amazed at the fact that they hadn’t chipped or cracked.  For me that’s super important with all the housework and water that my hands are in.  I’ve heard that gel weakens your nails so I intend to take breaks in between gels to let my nails rest.

This weekend Mr. Grumps and I have some functions to attend so I went with the gels again,  I tried Just Gel Polish in color Jupiter Blue with Gelaxy Vase of Hearts.

How do you like my color combo?

jupiter blue

vase of hearts

 

jb vh vh jb

Have you tried gel polish before?  Are you pro/con gel?

 

I’m Obsessed With…

I’m obsessed with people’s obsession with all things pumpkin and pumpkin spiced.

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psl

It seems like as soon as fall or the threat of fall comes around all the pumpkin spiced fiends come out.   Go on ahead and add the image of pumpkin spiced so and so’s to the ever so picturesque red, orange and yellow leaves on the ground, the need for a chunky sweaters, warm soups and brisk air when thinking of fall.  The pumpkin has totally gone from the Halloween mascot to a way of life.   I kind of want to blame Starbucks for starting this frenzy with their pumpkin spiced latte and then Dunkin Donuts pumpkin spiced doughnut holes, pumpkin ale, pumpkin spiced cronuts, pumpkin spiced lip balm, pumpkin spiced body lotion, Red Robin even has pumpkin spiced milk shakes.   I drew the damned line last week when my skirt was likened to pumpkin spice. I don’t get it but you better believe that I’m gonna get to the bottom of why everyone loses their gotdamn mind when September rolls around.

pumpkin spice

And while we’re on the subject I wonder have any of these people even tasted a real live pumpkin because if so they wouldn’t be going cuckoo for pumpkin spiced coco puffs, it’s fugging disgusting.  And what in sam hill is pumpkin spice anyway.  Is that some kind of seasoning they sprinkle on pumpkins to make it not taste like a$$ and if so you mean to tell me that the whole world is obsessed with a seasoning?!!!  Really?!

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I overheard a lady while waiting in Starbucks say “I’m just not myself if I don’t have my psl” (psl being pumpkin spiced latte for all you normal non pumpkin spiced obsessed people of the world).  Thank the lort that this craze only lasts for about 2 months or so because if I had to endure the rest of the year feeling like the only human in a pumpkin spiced zombie infested planet it would not be a good thing.  So if you are reading this and you are one of said pumpkin spiced heads I need you to do 2 or 2 things:

1. Tell me why-e (backstreet boys “I Want It That Way” voice)

2. Snap the hell out of it!!!!!!!!

Let’s get it together people.  We can’t continue to live Fall this way!

(disclaimer: this post is all in fun and is a totally judgement free-ish zone)

 

No Pumpkin Spiced Worries….I’ve Got This!

 

 

 

Jam of the Week: Senile

This song is a little different, I like the darkness of the track and Tyga and Nicki’s flow. (I’m low-key in love with Tyga’s voice, don’t judge me).

What do you think?

Song: Senile
Artist: Young Money
Album: Rise of an Empire