This Week in Mommyhood: Potty training! We got ourselves a shituation.

Potty training! (oy-vey)

I must admit that I was a lil judgy about the haughty taughty mommies who pay people to potty train their kiddies.  But after being up to my elbows in piss and crap I had to check myself right quick. If it weren’t for cheating myself out of a sense of accomplishment I’d totes be on the potty trainer train. This whole potty training bit, I’m quite over it!

We are definitely making progress and however long the process is taking I will not complain but I do have some issues with the different stages involved in the progression.

Stage One: Getting familiar with the potty
This stage was harmless or so I thought.  Just letting her see me “go potty” or having her go potty whenever I go potty wasn’t a problem at all.  Until that turned into an open invitation to bust in on me when mommy needs *ahem ahem* mommy time in the bathroom if you know what I mean.  Doors were never locked when I was growing up so it’s not something I normally do, but when I have to seriously go “potty” or when I’m shaving my legs in the shower and look up and have these 2 adorable eyes staring at me it’s just a bit much and so “click click” locked doors it is.

Stage Two: Supervised visitations
After getting familiar with the potty she had to get used to actually pottying, so every 25 minutes or so “time to go potty”.  Not so bad right?  Except when you end up having to sit in the bathroom for 10-15 minutes each time waiting for the “potty” to occur.

Stage Three: Notification
Once she got used to making potty we were in business.  As soon as she sat down she would go, all good.  Then we started to work on her telling us she had to go instead of us telling her to go.  Not so good!  We’d get all excited to hear “mommy/daddy go potty” until we realized she had actually gone potty already. ” Babygirl you have to tell us before you go potty okay” said one or both of us.  “Okay” she’s reply.  To no avail, close but no cigar.

Stage Four: Pull-Ups
She is currently wearing pull ups (aka her panties) throughout the day which she absolutely loves (thank the Lord for Dora, Thomas and Doc McStuffins pull ups).  Bad news they don’t hold half as much pottiness as pampers sooooooo there have been a lot of mommy and daddy’s wet pants legs and pissy couches and car seats. Not to mention these pull-ups are the devil because although they pull-up like they should lord knows they don’t pull down as easily…see stage 5 for more.

Stage Five: Potty Drills
For those of you who don’t know.  Potty drills are when they tell you 2.5 seconds before they actually go that they have to go and you drop everything and make a mad dash to the bathroom  so that they can make potty in the potty and then we can have a potty celebration.  8 out of 10 potty drills end in us having to clean up a little puddle of piss directly in front of the potty because those damn pull ups aren’t as easy to pull down as they should be.  I guess that’s why they purposely call them pull ups.

Stage  Six: Shituation Not Normal
We’re still trying to master step 5 but I think we’re almost done.  A week or so ago she’s entered the stage in which she doesn’t want her dirty pull ups touching her booty.  Which means after she goes potty (including the not so pleasant potty) in her big girl panties she immediately attempts to take them off.  A couple of times I’m sitting and minding my business and here comes a naked bootied baby.   This week I had the pleasure of catching her stripping post poopy in the pull ups.  What a shituation that was!!! Ugh.  I’m done here.

Thankfully I’ve heard that once they get to the stage that they don’t want to wear the dirty diapers/pull ups the next step is full on pottying.  And for the sake of my well being and germophobia I hope they’re right!

Have you gone through shituation potty?  Were you as skeeved out as I am?  Care to share any helpful hints/survival tips?


No Worries…I’ve Got This!  Pissy and Crappy and all.